Uhura (
lt_linguist) wrote2010-02-28 07:40 pm
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ninth translation // written/action for housemates
[Heavily filtered - probably 97% - to Malcolm Reynolds]
[It takes a few hours after the experiment wears off for this letter to appear - she's been collecting her thoughts, working through everything, and then composing the message, mustering every ounce of dignity she can.]
Captain Reynolds,
I would like to sincerely apologize for my behavior the last few days. It's clear that we were both affected by the latest "experiment" perpetrated by the Malnosso, and I, at least, was acting completely out of character.
You seem like a very decent person, and I wouldn't mind getting to know you better, if you're willing. However, please be aware that I have no romantic interest in you at the present time, and I am currently involved with someone else, anyway.
Again, you have my sincerest apologies if I led you to believe that certain emotions were present, which are not.
-Lieutenant Nyota Uhura
[Uhura has been in her room since the experiment wore off, the room she shares with Spock. The journal is closed and set aside, and she is lying on the bed, curled on one side, staring at the wall as though if she stares hard enough, something might happen that will magically fix everything.
It's very unlikely to.
The door is closed, but not locked or barred, though she briefly considered it before dismissing the idea as too childish. Which it would be. And she is going to deal with this situation in the most mature way she possibly can.
Once she's had a bit of a cry, that is.]
[It takes a few hours after the experiment wears off for this letter to appear - she's been collecting her thoughts, working through everything, and then composing the message, mustering every ounce of dignity she can.]
Captain Reynolds,
I would like to sincerely apologize for my behavior the last few days. It's clear that we were both affected by the latest "experiment" perpetrated by the Malnosso, and I, at least, was acting completely out of character.
You seem like a very decent person, and I wouldn't mind getting to know you better, if you're willing. However, please be aware that I have no romantic interest in you at the present time, and I am currently involved with someone else, anyway.
Again, you have my sincerest apologies if I led you to believe that certain emotions were present, which are not.
-Lieutenant Nyota Uhura
[Uhura has been in her room since the experiment wore off, the room she shares with Spock. The journal is closed and set aside, and she is lying on the bed, curled on one side, staring at the wall as though if she stares hard enough, something might happen that will magically fix everything.
It's very unlikely to.
The door is closed, but not locked or barred, though she briefly considered it before dismissing the idea as too childish. Which it would be. And she is going to deal with this situation in the most mature way she possibly can.
Once she's had a bit of a cry, that is.]
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[ it seemed to emony that whatever had been causing everyone to pair off and act so out of character had worn off and she had to shut her own journal and walk away to keep herself from reading more of the regrets that the residents had been expressing since the first signs of recovery had been displayed. it hurt to read of the heartbreak and confusion, sympathizing too greatly with people who were mostly strangers to her. she, instead, goes in search of her housemates, directing that need to offer comfort and an ear to listen (if it's needed) at them instead of those who aren't familiar with her.
she comes to the door of commander spock and lieutenant uhura's room first and pauses, lifting a hand to knock lightly. ]
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Uhura sits up, carefully rubbing her eyes and composing herself.]
Come in.
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[ she turns the doorknob slowly, first poking her head in to glance around before she steps fully into the room. she lingers in the doorway as she gives the taller woman a sympathetic look. it looks like she's been crying. ]
Sorry to bother you. I wanted to see if you were doing okay.
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Someone needs to snap me out of it, anyway.
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[ emony steps deeper into the room, folding her hands together in front of her as she comes to stand before where uhura's sitting. she couldn't imagine what it was like to come out of an experiment like that, especially since she hadn't been affected by it this time around. she considered herself lucky and fully expected to be affected by whatever the scientists dropped on them next. ]
You've always seemed like a very strong person to me. I'm sure you will.
[ there's a pause here before she asks, a bit boldly-- ]
Have you spoken with the commander yet?
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Not yet. I - [She looks down at her hands, folded neatly in her lap.] I suspect he'll need to take some time alone.
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[ she suspected as much, but it never hurt to ask. she'd seen that spock had been affected as well, but she hadn't felt she had the right to speak up on the entry she came across on the journals and hadn't allowed herself to read through all the visible comments. thankfully, the experiment had passed as she hoped it would. not only for uhura and spock's sake, but for everyone's.
emony nods. ]
We all need time to ourselves after something so harrowing.
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She'd even talked about Captain Reynolds to Spock. She winces at the memory.]
He'll likely be even more disgusted with his behavior than I am of mine.
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I can only imagine. I spent some time on Vulcan as my previous host and... I do not envy him. But, I'm sure he'll appreciate you being there for him. No-one was in control of their actions. It's not his fault.
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Even though you knew, your actions were still out of your control. We can't be held responsible for the things this place makes us do. I'm sure logic will tell him the same.
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[She pauses, on the verge of imparting something rather personal. But Emony might understand, a little. In a way, she's in a similar situation.]
At times like this... You know, I'd never want Spock to change. I'd never ask that of him. He'll need time on his own to figure this out, and I'll give him whatever time he needs.
But part of me really wants him to hold me right now.
[voice] - baww, I feel sorry for her. ;_; and gorram it, wrong icon.
Experiment or not, I... was wrong.
Even though I realize we were compelled to do what we did by the Malnosso, I would be lyin' if I said I didn't have a good time. But I'd also be a fool if I took more from it than there was.
I'd be more than happy to meet with you again; you don't need to worry about feelins' or anythin' like that. I won't take advantage of you.
If you need anythin' at all from me, or if you think it'd be easier if I just kept my distance, just ask.
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Rather than go out and sink his fist into Malcom's face, he waited until Emony left the room Uhura shared with Spock before getting to his feet and pushing the door slightly ajar. ]
Uhura?
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Hey. Crazy week, huh?
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Hopefully things will settle down now. [ He pauses, before his voice becomes softer when he next speaks. ] ... You feeling all right?
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[She pauses a moment.] Also, causing great pain to any Malnosso I meet sounds appealing.
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Can I get you anything?
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She opens her mouth to decline immediately, then, oddly enough, thinks better of it.]
Tea?
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Of course, Buffy bursts in upon Uhura's very private moment of whatever-this-experiment-left-them-with. The playful and goading remark that she had planned dies on her lips.]
Oh, Uhura? [Her shoulders slump and she invites herself in. Move over, woman. She's having a seat next to you.] Rough week?
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Now, though, it's sort of...comforting. Gives her a feeling of being grounded, in a way. Almost like Spock, despite the night-and-day personalities.]
I've never felt so utterly disgusted with myself.
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[It takes her a moment to say something else.] A little over three years.
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They made me forget all that, for what? I spent four days with a guy I just met.
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[Buffy sighs, but reaches out to touch Uhura's shoulder.] Can I tell you a story? I think...I think it might help.
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[She glances at the other woman for a moment.] Sure.
icon misfire!
[She looks away. Eyeing the ground.] My friends--the ones I'd known for years, loved like my own family? They were trying really hard to save me. But I'd given up. The doctor told me I had to destroy the things that kept dragging me back to the fantasy. And I tried. I nearly killed my friends, my sister because I was hallucinating.
[She breaks off there. She has left out so much--the joy of seeing her mother alive, the fear that she was genuinely crazy. It takes her a moment, but:] They forgave me. I'm sure Spock'll forgive you, too.
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It's a while before she speaks again.]
I know he'll forgive me. And I'll forgive him. But part of me will always feel guilty. Part of me will always remember that for the first time in three years, I was with someone else, and, at least for a little while, I enjoyed it.
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[And so, she comes to the not-so-pleasant moral of her story.] Save your disgust for the things that are actually you're fault.
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[She gives Buffy a wry smile.] I've always been my own harshest critic. It's part of why I'm so good at what I do.
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That's not necessarily a bad thing. Just--y'know. Balance. It's needed.
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I'll just let myself feel bad for hurting the person I love most in the world for a while, then we'll move on and keep trying to make this weird thing work.
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You two seem good together. I remain hopeful because if you two--who love each other--can't make it work, what hope've I got?
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There's a lot I haven't let myself say.
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